literature

Shadows of a Mannequin

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jikivigoig's avatar
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Published:
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Literature Text

life seems to want to laugh in my face
as I am stuck –
like a cloud strung up in the sky –
and all I can see are my memories, ruined
stars in the night,

.

I wish I could help you
but anything you mention of it
causes shivers to rise at the back of my neck and

nevermind,
it's too selfish to tell you.

.

you were who inspired me to get better –
and now you're who's unseeingly tempting me back.

along with the rest of the world,
of course:

.

the sky sometimes makes me feel so trapped –
we're all ants beneath a blanket,
squirming to free themselves as it lowers
and suffocates everyone
in their own personal hell that somehow resembles
everyone else's,

.

when you think about it,
is it worth it?
is it worth the hunger and the people you'll
hurt unintentionally

and the fatigue and the health problems that
come later,
and death, when you can't heal?

.

I remember the beauty of the shadows
between my rib bones, behind my collarbone,
the juts right up the middle of my back –

.

and I miss it.

.

it crawls up my throat like the bile when
you really shouldn't be throwing up,
and it burns,
and it hurts like someone's driving drills through
my brain.

.

I'm a hypocrite, a dirty lying hypocrite,
just like he said –

.

I wish you didn't feel like this too –
I don't want you to end up like me,
selfishly vain
and blind,
addicted to bad habits and harmful ideas –

because I love who you are
right now.

.

this is too familiar.
I don't know what to do.
© 2012 - 2024 jikivigoig
Comments6
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timelessarii's avatar
"I remember the beauty of the shadows
between my rib bones, behind my collarbone,
the juts right up the middle of my back –

.

and I miss it.

.

it crawls up my throat like the bile when
you really shouldn't be throwing up,
and it burns,
and it hurts like someone's driving drills through
my brain."

Great writing here.