another fix, please

that feeling of relief
in darkened days –

remembering once
with hollow eyes and broken gazes,
floods my skin like taut stares,
uncomfortable –
the key snapping blurry worlds
into focus.

I dissolve, scars upon scars,
building tales of months
forgotten and
pain bleeding outside borders –
only blissful addiction.

[ breathing monitored,
as watched as I am – ]
confusion, hazy like counting
backwards

for that feeling in freedom,
for waiting.

perfection comes in blood
and agony, for searching
out hungry addiction.

watch –

addiction, hungry,
out searching for agony
and blood.

in comes perfection,
waiting for freedom in
feeling that,
for backwards counting like hazy
confusion.

[ am I
as watched as
monitored breathing? ]

addiction, blissful –
only borders outside bleeding
pain and forgotten
months of tales building
scars upon scars.    dissolve.

I focus into worlds
blurry, snapping.

key the uncomfortable stares,
taut like skin.
my floods –

gazes broken and eyes hollow
with once remembering
darkened days

in relief of feeling
that.